Learning To Love You More Assignment #41: Document your bald spot

 

I’ve had this bald spot on my scalp for, I’m assuming, my whole life. I remember whenever I was a little girl, being in my downstairs bathroom with my mom and grandma when they noticed this on my head. It felt weird, so we looked through my hair and found this little empty patch. It became a source of obsession that I still haven’t gotten over. I used to pluck out the hairs around it, scratch at it, dig into it with my nails, rub it furiously, press down into it. I still do a lot of these things today, and whenever I get stressed out or am arbitrarily playing with my hair, I find myself obsessing with this one spot.

 

I recently noticed that this spot also serves as a dent in my scalp. If you touch from my forehead and back onto that spot, you’ll notice that this patch of skin is kind of sunken in quite a bit.

 

I hate this thing. When I was a kid I used to think it was a scab and there was actually a bunch of hair growing underneath it, and I just had to pick away at all the tough outer skin. That probably made it worse.

 

I’ll admit, as I’m typing this I’m also scratching at this thing. I hate it.